Lately, some of my friends have been saying this old adage, “time is short.” When we step forward into another birthday, we know this. I’ve noticed that when my birthday numbers increase, I feel safer saying no to opportunities that require effort or are slightly uncomfortable. At the same time, I am aware of a few great things I’ve let pass me by as I stayed safe in my comfort zone.
Is it possible that you skipped an outing with friends, only because it meant getting in the car and driving there? When there’s an interesting art show (car show, camper show, home show) happening where you have to get out of your comfy clothes to go, did you stay home instead? Maybe when your friends were attending a concert and asked you to go, you turned them down because it was easier than facing the slight fear of staying out late and mingling with people. There’s many ways we stay in our comfort zone. It could be non-communication with others, turning down events, or just sitting in our cozy home instead of going to a group class at the gym. What are we missing when we stay tucked into our comfort zone?
When I had my book published, I didn’t think past the publishing process to how people had to know the book existed for them to get something out of it. Everything about publicity and promotion made my stomach turn. I seriously needed help, or my copies would end up collecting dust bunnies in my closet. Thankfully I met a publicist who I hired to do promotion. It was an eye opener to find that yes, he would line up wonderful events, but I was the one who had to do the presenting. This demanded that I kick myself out of my comfort zone and summon inner guts and courage to do what he has aligned for me. I’ve done book signings, where a 20-minute presentation in front of a group was required. I’ve walked into bookstores and asked if they would consider stocking the book, have been a guest on podcasts, and had an interview on TV. This was all done with private whining behind the scenes to my husband, wishing for the comfort of doing nothing. Yet, I’ve been surprised at the fascinating people I’ve met, uplifted by feedback that has come my way, and have the satisfaction of knowing the book now has a wider audience.
Let’s say you’re single and really want to have a partner? The absolute scary part is that you have to try. Trying could mean singles groups, online dating, and just being out and about where people are. Are you stuck in the comfort zone even when you know that staying home will give you only what you have right now? It takes guts and courage to step out of comfort. The same is required for finding a new job, a new friend group, fixing a broken relationship, or traveling. When you hear, “time is short,” what events come to your mind?
Steps to give yourself a nudge.
1. Start with your brain. It may need a new story to think about. When your brains plays the old story of, “it’s too hard, I don’t want to, or it feels scary,” put up a stop sign right there. New thinking is required. Replace the old story with statements like, “I think I can do it. It sounds like fun. I’ll go for a short time. I’ll do a baby step in that direction. I’ll send a note, place a phone call, leave a message, check into what I can learn about that…I’ll start small.”
2. When an opportunity comes knocking on your door, your first response may be a solid "no." Hey, “time is short,” and a new opportunity is right there knocking on your door. This time say yes. Yes, to going for a short time. Yes, to stepping out of the comfort zone. Yes, to putting your big toe into trying something new.
3. Remember that you aren’t changing life that much. You still have your cozy home and your comfort. Only a small nudge is needed to start going toward things you never did but wish you had. You get to come back to the coziness as soon as you want to.
4. It may be that a little research is needed to take the first step toward a new step. Maybe it’s not knocking on your door but you need to explore a door to knock on. It’s ok, you can do it. You can pursue travel or a new friend group or a new job or hobby. Give yourself the nudge when you’ve learned about the new thing and go.
Time is short and time keeps marching ahead. An empowering baby step is will help you start today.
Linda Ward
Courage Daily Coaching
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